My Sister

Julie Neider Selders

My little sister, Julie has been gone for 10 years. Tomorrow is her birthday and my heart has been full of thoughts of my little sis.  I will never forget the phone call from my brother when he said, "I think we've lost our sister, Julie.  She is in the hospital on life support, but the doctors are telling us it doesn't look good at all.  She didn't wake up this morning and was taken by ambulance to the hospital."  I was at work when I received the call and needless to say was stunned.  This was my little sister.  My only sister.  The sister I had longed for when my mother kept bringing home baby brothers.  She was so young.  Her boys needed her.  Surely this is going to have a good outcome, I thought.  I waited for four days before flying to SLC to be by her hospital bed.  She was still on life support.  The family had gathered, but the doctors gave us little hope. 

We have missed her so.  She carried all of us in so many ways.  She left us on Thanksgiving weekend.  She had been with her family at their cabin for Thanksgiving and had returned on Sunday.  I talked with her for about an hour that night and the next morning I received the phone call.  I delayed flying to SLC knowing that my heart would break.  I couldn't imagine the events that were happening 2000 miles away.   When I arrived at the hospital I knew the scene that awaited.  I thought surely a miracle would occur and brain activity would start and Julie would have her eyes open when I arrived.

But, it wasn't to be.  Julie's husband Jack, along with the family, decided that life support should be stopped.  She lingered for four days.  Darryl and I stayed by her side, but in the middle of the night on the fourth day, she safely left us.  The events were unreal.  Our sister was gone. 
When I went back to Julie's house for a much needed shower after leaving the hospital, it was heart breaking to be with her "things".  Her husband was very protective of everything, but I needed a momento of my sister.  I had asked her on one occasion if I could have the Raggedy Ann doll I had made her about 15 years earlier.  I have a sweet collection of Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls.  It was the only Raggedy I finished.  (There are still three in a box waiting for clothes.)  Her boys had played with the doll and it was a bit raggedy, but she told me she would never give up the Raggedy.  She said, "If I die, you can have her back."  Those words pounded in my ears that day.  She was gone.  I went to her cedar chest and opened the lid.  There was Raggedy right on the top.  I hugged that little doll and cried for my little sister.  How I wished she was still alive and the doll could stay in the cedar chest forever.  Can you imagine how much I regret asking Julie for the doll?

There were so many good things about Julie.  She had dinners and parties for all of the family misisonaries and newlyweds.  We later found an entire box of hand-made nativity sets Julie had painted for each child in her ward primary.  That's who she was.........................so thoughtful of everyone around her.  All of the children in Primary wrote Julie get well letters and devoted a Christmas tree to her at the Parade of Trees.  One of the children had been in an accident the same week Julie was in the hospital.  After a week he regained conciousness and ask for Sister Selders.  He said she had been with him the whole time in the hospital room.

                            This is one of my favorite pictues of Julie.  This is how I picture her when I think  her cute smile.                                   Andrea and Julie at Deer Valley.

Julie had the cutest sense of humor.  She could nick-name anything and keep us all laughing.  We sure love and miss our Julie.  And there was never any doubt that Julie loved all of us.  If ever there was family loyalty, Julie demonstrated it.

When I asked her to come to Fresno in August to be with all of us for Jeremy and Shelly's wedding, she gladly flew in, brought Grandma Neider, and made all of the favors for the wedding luncheon after the temple.  Then she flew to Virginia for a week to help with Jeremy's reception here.  Now that is a  loyal sister.  We had a week of laughter and giggles that have gone unsurpassed in my life.  She died the following November. 

I'd like to give her a great big hug for her birthday.................................if you have sisters, let them know how much you care about them.